Saturday, 31 December 2011

2011 brought me..

so its the last day of 2011 and ive been thinking about what positive things this year has consisted of.. and i thought to recap would be a nice way to account all of the new things i have tried and/or experienced:
1) going to my first festival
2) meeting a lovely young lady who goes by the name of katy
3) managed to keep my driving more points
4) learnt that alcohol isnt all that its cracked up to be..
5) Christmas has taught me, that food really food isnt my thing
6) found a new love for the television series Leverage and the character Parker
7) became obsessed with gold and glitter..maybe im more girly than i thought
8) became more confident and am now starting to like myself cos im actually good at stuff
9) took some lovely photos ( if i do say myself)
10) found out more about who i am!
11) above all these wonderful things, i have become more intelligent because i have never stopped learning and trying new things

i tried to condense everything into 11 to mark the year!


trying new things

to be beside the seaside

meeting katy and lounge on the farm


chilling by the playhouse

kylie for the night

and not forgetting susan..
lets hope this year i achieve so much more!

Saturday, 1 October 2011

what will be my legacy?

trying to figure out what my legacy could be has been a task that has proven extremely difficult..

im not sure i really want there to be anything left behind once im gone, ive always thought i would be happy in the presence of angels and everyone else would carry on living their lifes, maybe with an odd picture to reminisce over or a song that i was always renowned to sing.

but i guess crying and stressing over something that should be simple, isnt going to help! i started to think about all the things that are positive about me and the aspects of life that i enjoy?!?

if i really stop thinking about it - and feel the fear - my ultimate goal would be 'to make the world a better place'. whether that sounds corny or not. i strive for others to be better off and to feel safe. ive been told i care a lot about people and some people maybe too much but why see that as bad thing?!

im always one for a list so i guess compiling all the things that i want to include and all the 'talents' i have should be a great place to start.
 1. photography
 2. some kind of song that reflects me or my ambition
 3. fair trade aka fair jade
 4. some kind of physical theatre piece
 5. influential people and/or places....
this list will continue im sure but for now i will start at the top and go out with my trusty camera and start snapping

everywhere i go by lissie

Thursday, 18 August 2011

being nineteen

initially i dreaded turning another year older...i cant remember the last birthday i actually looked forward to ! ive never been one to want to hurry up and grow up - ive always liked being looked after.

but as i sat outside on my 'happy being born day' drinking my coffee in my pj's...looking up into a sky that looked pretty perfect i realised i felt different. you know when people ask 'oh do you feel different'...and  i never really got what they meant its not like you age a whole year physically over night. But i did i felt relieved !

 i had always thought that nineteen was a nothing age and therefore didnt really mean anything. not like when you turn eighteen and you can go out and drink and become completely responsible for your own actions, but at nineteen you can do just that but without any expectations because when you do turn eigteen everyone EXPECTS that of you. and actually maybe i like spending a Saturday evening in front of my telly with my family and not spending the whole of Sunday with a hang over,feeling like im dying. yeah i like to go out and dance the night away but sometimes i like the things that remind me of being a child and deciding what i want to do.

so yes i like being nineteen....for now at least

well apart from the fact that im poorly and its only my first official day. but i can ignore that if it doesnt last too long.

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

so you secretly like children and i secretly like animals...(well kittens)

she may have gone to nice family ( i say nice because thats what my friend told me ) i tried to think that way but when i looked into the cage where she once lived and noticed she was gone i dramatically walked out of the room...i was crushed

susan..... who knew i would become attached to something so little and something so pet like.

i never thought i would like an animal. but i guess things change. i can now see myself maybe one day with one...who'd have thought it ay?!
and i agreed to keep her a unknown

so i like kittens almost as much as my friend secretly wants children...?!

Wednesday, 13 July 2011

i survied my first festival

to be honest i was worried before i went..the camping.the toilets,the lack of sleep, showering and general worry that something of mine might have got stolen.

well before we even left i had lost my fest phone...and i still cant find it - its a  complete mystery. it has DISAPPEARED !!!! so this was a great start, but i wasnt going to let it get me down, i took it a sign that i wasnt meant to be able to contact the outside world or even check the time. AND then when we arrived and had eventually put up the unstable tent i found out that my memory card in my camera was broken so i had 17 pictures that i could take- BRILLIANT. i love photos. ( thank goodness my friends had their own )

im not going to turn around say that i enjoyed the whole experience...but the majority and i will try my best to not think and dwell on the fact that i was separated from my friends for over three hours and had no way of contacting them as the security guards were absolutely useless.

my favourite parts of the festival were the playhouse acts and one hour plays  and the tea temple - i was sooo relaxed... i didnt have a care in the world !

chilin' in the tea temple

i have also came away liking more artists for example, dog is dead and alpines.
alpines  - lights.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

something nice

check these bad boys out!
today i bought a new pair of converse...they are unique as they are labeled slightly wrong, but i love them all the same and dont think i want to change them even though they dont match. > > > > > >

today i also bonded with my sister over cutlery. yes cutlery... you see for dinner i was having roasted veg and whilst they were cooking the cutlery was placed on the side ready for use. anyway dani,one of my sisters, picked them up gave me a look and got into position and said 'lets do the parent trap' ( for those who may not know what that is it is a film and in a section of it the step mum feels paranoid that a bear or some creature is going to get her she stars wacking sticks together to get them away, so yeah we re-created this moment for our own amusment ! anyway she began to move across the room tinging the knife and fork....

and off course i joined in

Friday, 10 June 2011

ive finally conquered a vampire?!

the book i started this time last year...

well i said it wouldnt be long before i blogged again and i come baring good news :)

last night i had an early night i started to continue reading my steven tyler book and then i realised my twilight book was sitting in my abandoned drawer two inches away from where i was sprawled... i dared to open the drawer to see exactly how much i had left remaining to read... to my amazement there were just two chapters.

i looked at my clock and set myself the task of finishing it before i feel asleep... my eyes were sore and itchy but i wanted to accomplish my fear of actually finishing a book... you see i hate things coming to an end and by finishing a book your letting a story end, which is obvious i guess. but i thought about the pros and cons and an hour later the book was closed and finished.

i didnt want to rush it and i guess an hour isnt classed as rushing ...but this is me and i was very tired.

Yay i have ticked one thing off my summer list... well kind of ...

Wednesday, 8 June 2011

my summer has started and with a ... list

its been a while since i last blogged and its taken me a while to think of something worthwhile to say...

so my summer 2011 has already started and i wanted to take advantage of all the free time i had to enjoy doing the things i dont get enough time to do during the academic year. i thought the best way to find the 'things' was to write a list... i do like lists they give me order and a chance to order them in importance. 

not a kids bike - whoops a daisy im a twerp

so anyway here is the list, that i guess could realistically be longer:

1. buy an adults bike with a basket, and ride it.
2. take tones of GOOD photos
3.keep a note of all the important and arty things that i do, much like a logbook/commonplace book - the time that i dont need to keep one i choose too ! ... well it makes sense to me
4. start new art projects
5. relax and stop worrying ... which is proving difficult
6. go on walks and adventures in the woods
7. picnics ... lots of them, with real lemonade
8. get healthy
9. educate myself with films... already watched about three - which is extremely impressive for me. books...and actually finish one (at least) ... biography's count right ?! I WILL FINISH TWILIGHT.

outside and picture time with jumper of L

11. listen to more music
12. spend time with more people
13. go to camden
14. go to my first festival
15. learn to play the guitar again
16. write my own song
17. sing ... wont be hard ( but i want to sing country)
18. not fear my birthday...
19.enjoy the sun and make the most of it

Thursday, 12 May 2011

what does life mean ?

how do you feel when someone not close to you but still close enough, passes away ?

how should one feel ? how should one process it ?

i dont know anyone who wouldnt be affected by a death of someone they new. its sad ! and you feel sympathy for the loved ones left behind. the ones that have to continue on the journey of life without that person, that may have played a huge or tiny role in their lives.

it hard not to dwell on a situation like death, but by dwelling, you make yoruself feel guilty. so what shoudl you do ? ... there you are feeling sorry for yourself, when your the one still alive,. but for how long ? no one knows and each passing day you get closer to that day, but when someone dies it makes you feel like you must enjoy and make the most of each day. well thats what its like for me. well for a little while, until i forget. when too many days have  passed and ive  carried on living my life and i forget to apprieciate life.

many may ask. what is life ? and i guess no one can answer you that, and maybe you will never know !

i just think that it is important  to stop thinking too much and to enjoy what life  and appreciate the people that care about me/you and to stop caring so much for the people that dont. ( thats what is the hardest part for me, becuase i want to care about those people that arent part of my life, i get frustrated and annoyed that life is short, why cant the people you need in your life be there ?) a very naive opinion maybe. but one i am still tring to deal with.

now i didnt want this to be depressing, i wanted it to be a way to deal with a death.
and to make it known that where ever you are im thinking of you and your family and friends. rest in peace Adriene. x

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

the girl in the striped jumper.

 I have now started thinking of  the idea behind my 'art' project and i guess the only way i will find the direction i want to take it i need to just feel the fear and start it.

so that is what ive done.
here i have started with my pictures. that will then go into a massive collage of some kind with the mixture of paint etc.
 my story is of a girl on a journey of discovery... she starts as a  young girl,that  then becomes a young woman,.the most pure and free i thought i could display the journey was through natrure.

 now i wont make any promises...  it has been a few years since i have taken on a task of this scale and the pictures might make you think it wont be anything special, and who knows it could turn out a load of rubbish...

but im going to try my best and if anything i am proud enough of i will update you with on my blog :)

and the last few photos were just experiemental... but i thought they displayed  freedom of movement and expression.

Sunday, 1 May 2011

Wednesday, 27 April 2011

capturing the great outdoors.

right well i have set myself a new project amongst my others, this one is pretty much individual and consists of me taking photos and adding other arty things ...

tonight i have been out snapping and ropped my sisters into joining me, they secretly love me dragging them around fields and getting slightly lost on the trip to the woods. anyway tonight i allowed them to take some photos which is quite generous considering it is a very expensive camera. anyway...

i started taking photos again, becuase it is something i have always enjoyed, and have been told am good at. i want to find some inspiration for promoting the 'arts' so i thought the best place to start would be outside with nature.

 NATURE which is pretty self explainitory.

slight obsession with capturing the tree from underneath... i find it interesting and very facinating.


Tuesday, 26 April 2011

is it too much to ask ?

a concern for me has always been how to stand out and yet still be myself.. i have spent many years trying new looks and setting trends along the way that have sometimes not always felt like 'me', whatever that is meant to feel like ! - maybe in years to come i will have that established.

anyway as stated in my previous blog i have always had at least one friend called jade. now to many people that would be normal sharing your name with a girl/boy in the same school.try having two others in you primary class ...and having someone you consider to be one of your best friends your entire life and growing up called jade. i always accepted it, as it was the norm. ... now it may be selfish and dont get me wrong i am okay with having two jades in my class at college,( yes TWO more, it looks to me like a re-occuring theme ) i wouldnt not want them there just so i could be the only 'jade', but sometimes i wish i could be seen as an individual not just as 'other jade', or 'little jade' etc.etc. the names go on and on... now i guess i appreciate the nick names, because ,at least i am slightly myself  but it wouldnt hurt to be allowed to be known as just plain jade.

this is getting a bit deep and is pulling me down writing it. but the torment will be over shortly.

it wasnt till the other day that i realised why i strive to be unique and wear  'sillly' shoes in order to look different ! i have always felt like i wasnt quite important enough to have my own identity, but i have now realised there are more to people than their name. i have always considered myself to be a good ( the dreaded word that i stare at on my screen whenever i type it in any document, hoping that a 'better' another fabtastic word, will come to me ) judge of character and the fact that i am always friends with fellow jades might just mean that im not bad of a person.

this blog hasnt really acheieved much, other than paint me to look like a spoilt m whiney, stuck up my own bottom, self absorbed girl  called jade , which was the most common girls name in 1992, which is obviously the year i was born.

ps just to top it all off all the jades i have been friends with, have always been older than me, so i cant even say that they copied me becuase that would be lying - two things that i dislike hugely.

Saturday, 23 April 2011

today was one of those special days...

recently i have been thinking about things... now if you know me you will know that this isnt uncommon but this time it made me see things in a totally new way, and eventually it was actually positive.

i have a lot to thank elisabeth sladen for, now i wont pretend that i was her biggest fan, but dont get me wrong i thought she was a great actor and appeared to be a lovely lady, but when i heard the sad news about her passing, my heart sunk, i realised that i would never get to see her on doctor who ever again. and it made me think and realise that life is short and making the most of the good and bad thinsg that life throughs at you is very important to cherish every moment.

on a lighter note... today i met up with a young girl who happens to have the same first name,which isnt uncommon for me to befriend someone with the same name, it has been a normal occurance, i cant  think of a time in my life where there wasnt a jade i was friends with, anyway that stories for a different day, or at least a different blog.

today... we met up to discuss work - well at least that was my intention ! she took me on a little shopping trip and that was when the discussion that would make me think began.  
very much like the start of the blog our disscussion contained our outlook on life etc. and all that depressing stuff that goes along with it. today i realised the very reason i am friends with this lovely human and the reason why, much to my disgust i do need human beings in my life.

it might sound soppy but i feel like i am finally on the path to self discovery and by talking with intelligent and/or interesting people i feel like i am one step further on doing so. i realised how vital it is to have things in common and how lovely it is to have differences. its not only humans that i find so incredible but nature, and antic shops.the tree we sat under, and the picture i would upload with the blog if i knew how ha.was just beautuful and the lovely things we found in the shop. 

there was a negative end to my day that i will take as a postive and that was that it was over as my car ticket ran out , silly me for only putting three hours on my car.

Wednesday, 20 April 2011

trying new things

now all this technical stuff is pretty new to me and i guess i'll properly mess this blog up too. i've never been the most academic and the brightest bulb in the box...

this is my first blog and i have no idea what it is meant to include so i guess this is just a trial and if it turns out 'bad' i'll just delete it before anyone has the chance to read it.

today its sunny and i've been indoors and when i first think about it, i feel like i have achieved very little, but in fact i have signed up to youtube and signed up to my first blog... and to me that ut us fact quite an achievement as i have spent hours even days trying to find out how to do both, but leaving it to fate i have just stumbled over them both in a matter of minutes.

moving onto something more interesting hopefully ;

i feel like i have acheieved and learnt so much since september when i started a foundation degree at a local college. i had been there for the two years previously and i intially carried on there our of fear. ... although i think the scarest thing was in fact staying there. every lesson, evey day i am being tested and being allowed to grow as a person. it has been the best decision i have ever made.

now by trying new things i am now finding out who i am and who i want to be !

now this blog doesnt really follow a great theme and reading through it you may find yourself getting lost but im hoping i didnt do  that bad of a job.