is it too much to ask ?

a concern for me has always been how to stand out and yet still be myself.. i have spent many years trying new looks and setting trends along the way that have sometimes not always felt like 'me', whatever that is meant to feel like ! - maybe in years to come i will have that established.

anyway as stated in my previous blog i have always had at least one friend called jade. now to many people that would be normal sharing your name with a girl/boy in the same school.try having two others in you primary class ...and having someone you consider to be one of your best friends your entire life and growing up called jade. i always accepted it, as it was the norm. ... now it may be selfish and dont get me wrong i am okay with having two jades in my class at college,( yes TWO more, it looks to me like a re-occuring theme ) i wouldnt not want them there just so i could be the only 'jade', but sometimes i wish i could be seen as an individual not just as 'other jade', or 'little jade' etc.etc. the names go on and on... now i guess i appreciate the nick names, because ,at least i am slightly myself  but it wouldnt hurt to be allowed to be known as just plain jade.

this is getting a bit deep and is pulling me down writing it. but the torment will be over shortly.

it wasnt till the other day that i realised why i strive to be unique and wear  'sillly' shoes in order to look different ! i have always felt like i wasnt quite important enough to have my own identity, but i have now realised there are more to people than their name. i have always considered myself to be a good ( the dreaded word that i stare at on my screen whenever i type it in any document, hoping that a 'better' another fabtastic word, will come to me ) judge of character and the fact that i am always friends with fellow jades might just mean that im not bad of a person.

this blog hasnt really acheieved much, other than paint me to look like a spoilt m whiney, stuck up my own bottom, self absorbed girl  called jade , which was the most common girls name in 1992, which is obviously the year i was born.

ps just to top it all off all the jades i have been friends with, have always been older than me, so i cant even say that they copied me becuase that would be lying - two things that i dislike hugely.